I was thinking dear friends about all we learn in this life. How so much of the problems we have, seem to be on a wheel that just keeps rolling back our way. After I read the post that Duncan wrote yesterday about forgiveness and meditation it hit me. That I carry a lot of unnessasary guilt around in my life. I feel guilty for a multitude of things most of them silly. In this new year of facing the fears and moving on, I am planning to fill my little rock with the fears, regrets, old emotions that pop up that eat at me like sulfuric acid and toss it.. Goodbye and don’t come a knocking old toxic thoughts.
Have you ever dumped sulfuric acid into your toliet or a drain it seems to work invisibly. No bubbles no big chemical reaction the silent killer just sits in the bowl eating the clog. Well the toxins in your soul are will eat away at your dreams and how you interpret reality.I call it Killing the Zen. We have to live a life of letting the Zen in!
Here is a thought. Noetic Science is the sceince studying the power of thought. It has proven that our thoughts even the smallest and most fleeting have mass. Can you imagine that a thought has mass that means that it exerts gravity on life. Ultimately it means that we are what we think. Literally. The debate has been raging for years in new age circles over whether we are what we think: do we create our own reality. Lets see if we can work this one out and come to some very vital conclusions on our own. First, if you belive something with all your heart can you manifest it. This is something I belive is so true: that we even manifest the things we don’t realize we belive. When I was young I was blessed with a body not to be belived. For years I was emabarrased and wished not to be seen. I was very unhappy. I had lived threw an incident that although was seemingly harmless to this 13 year old with a grown playbody ready body I was not ready for. One afternoon my parents where having a tour of people come thru our home. The children rooms we off limits but since we had sitting rooms and a beautiful functional libray and state of the art bathrooms the upper level was being toured. One nice lady on the tour accidently took the wrong turn down a hallway and opened my door. She opened it at the very moment I had just pulled on my jeans but had nothing covering my top. The men that peered through the door catcalled and yelled things like that room was worth the price of admission on the tour. It was imature for the men but devestating for me. For years I felt shame about the shape of my body. I was embarassed when someone made a comment. I often told my mother I wish I could have surgery to remove my breast so I could be could be like everyone else. I was use to vulgar remarks and young boys talking to my chest but in 1980 this was not something I could process. So as the years went by I bought bigger clothes put on weight and began to feel less gawked at. Then another problem reared it’s ugly head around the time I was 18. I wanted my body back. I was happy and carefree and wanted not to be embarassed by wearing a swimsuit and was tired of hiding behind the weight. I wore that wieght like a saftey jacket. It seemed like overnight the weight disappeared. Literally! Just as it had appeared. When I changed my mind it fell away. Just like when I had decided to hate my body it came on. I was not an overeater nor did I work to eat to gain wieght. On and off in my life I have had this same thing happen. If I got to feeling unhappy about myself and wanted to disappear I would. Then the swing in my brain would happen and the wieght would fall off. Now as I have grown and learned the lesson that I could not begin to imagine in my youth the problem has gone away. That lesson being that I love myself. It took cancer to teach me that I loved my body. Each part of it and I wanted to keep it all. It was worth fighting for. The truth of my manifesting my own reality has only continued. Another example. There came a time after the eternal search in my life for “what I wanted to be when I grew up” that I found my niche. I had known it all along deep inside but I keep pushing away my gifts. I wanted to be a spiritual teacher in some way but couldn’t quite wrap my mind around it. Once I did my world turned on a dime. The city opened up to me with new opportunities to help and spread the word of love and light. I changed my life and began to follow my own dreams no matter how “out there” people might have thought they were. Belive me even my own church treated me like a person in need of couseling. I have not asked them why.. so this is conjecture..but when I spoke to my minister about my call he politely said great. The head of the church in our area set me up with a spiritual life coach and I am sure they thought this would blow over. People with cancer and sick husbands have swings mentally and want to have drastic changes in life. I was told over and over that maybe I just would not be able to handle the pressure and the work. It shows how little they knew me. Surprisingly enough the mentor they placed me with helped me clear out old baggage and was truely a gift to me. She taught me to claim what I belived and slowly I began to do just that and slowly I stopped the couseling. The counseling was meant to help me discerne what I was called to do. I knew that the first day I walked into the church. Luckily for me the counselor and mentor taught me to claim it. The counseling helped, but there was no way I was going to advance in that church. If I am honest there was no way I wanted to now.My dream had not been fleshed out on that first day but after two years I had it down to the last centimeter who and what I wanted. But the only words of wisdom I have for naysayers is never underestimate a person who is willing to expose themselves to you. And to each dreamer remember there will always be someone who doesn’t belive in, or a place you don’t fit… that is o.k. it is not where you are meant to be. Plow your own row. You may miss a brillant opportunity.Life happens even when you have cancer and a sick husband. Some make drastic decisions I am sure; but some of us know our own hearts have come to terms with the medical life lemons and have we have moved on and made a plan. The best part was doors flug open to welcome me. Folks were hungry for what BasicMissions had to offer. People called whom I had never heard of but who had heard of me. Life turned into my picture of life. Last year as I wrote out my vision board and pictured my vision in my head. I had the idea of wanting a home surrounded by water and on a big piece of land. A cottage with a garden and room to stretch out and be private within 30 days of looking I had found it. Beyond all comprehension I am sitting at my desk in my Cottage right now.I had fleshed my vision out down to the bicycle I bought and have been riding. Yesterday when I road back from the libray I realized that I was riding in one of my day dreams where I had obtained the life I wanted. It was a huge deja vu moment. So my thoughts had mass and excerted gravity and became my vision down to the last floorboard. Now I have new visions. Thought of babies running the floors and new buisness venture and those thing too are coming I can feel them. The message here don’t let others influence your vision. It is yours alone. Go for it. Some thought Elvis couldn’t sing and his ladies shirts and dyed hair was too much! I bet they feel like fools today.
So here is the plan. Lets share our vision boards and see at the end of one year and then five how they come out. This year I have several plans and I am determined that all of them work out. Some of the answers have yet to come as to how I will accomplish these dreams…but I am putting them out there none the less.
First of all I have a massive case of baby fever. So we are looking forward to a new addition. This baby may come from us or from a lovely town yet unknown. The universe will let us know. I am making room for all answers. This will be challengeing because of my health problems and my age.. but I love a challenge. I am looking forward to the three books I am completeing being published. I have a publisher for the cook book. Since I have helped write a cook book before. I am almost finished with it. Almost. Care to help. Sample the reciepes I put here. I need the feed back. How did they work for you? How did you like them? I have a new buisness and I am not going to give away the bank here but it will be in line with BasicMissions as a global initutive for change. It is time to take my views on life and the universe and give them away as a practical guide to living. I plan on finding a way to get Duncan completely well this year. He is going to have three bs. to look after a dog and a baby so we have to get him moving. I plan to practice yoga more, garden like a maniac and introduce my t.v. program here locally. You will see that first on this sight. I plan to have my home decorated and in perfect order and I plan to get this plumbing working perfectly by then end of today. I know all these things will work out. OH.. and one honeymoon a year with my husband, one trip alone to a spiritual retreat or buddhist compound. Buy another home in this historic district that I live in for an office, and spend a lot more time with my family. And I plan for my life to bloom. We can make all of our dreams come true if we take our dreaming into a new realm lets call it creative belief. Bringing the Zen in. First you have to build it in your brain then you are able to build it in your life.
Now there was hurt in the last year. So I plan to spend more time with my friends and family and find a place that feed me spiritually. I plan not to over schedule and become disorganized. I plan to leave the hurts of the past in the past. Duncan and I even made a deal no bringing up the past in a spat. So we are moving on in every way. I plan on never saying I cannot or falling victim to my fear. If I am afraid to climb on the roof. Tomorrow I will get a ladder out and climb on the roof. I will face my fears. I will do the backbend in yoga. I will know I am going to make enough money. I will settle a lawsuit and not let the lazy lawyer I have sink that. I plan to set my seeds into things I have researched and made a strong foundation for. NO jumping into things. Oh and I am going to say NO…. NO>>> NO!!! NO<<<< If I mean NO… no more people pleasing. I will take time for me this year and not give all my energy to others. I was drained at the end of last year and that was my own fault. So… lets go.. tell me about your do’s and don’ts…
So please tell me your vision for the year. Let all of the past go. Practice meditation and good nutrition and use that stone to let all the trauma and toxic thinking out of your body. It is a new day and a new age. If we belive it ….. it will come.
Belive, Belive, Belive….Build.. and Be Grateful. We are what we think. Repeat that.. Imagine it. Belive it.
Callie